I have been at the hospital every day for the past two weeks.My mom has been very ill.It's hard to see this active ,lively woman in such pain.She is incredibly strong and I admire how she has handled her hospital stay. She can no longer live alone.So once she heals my dear mum will be moving to Connecticut.She will no longer be an hour away. This is what needs to be done.I am not well enough to take care of her and admitting that has really gotten me down. She wants me to be happy with my life and not to feel guilty or have any regrets.I told her I am happy with my life.Even though I have had PH for so many years,the gifts I have received are countless.It has been a blessing in disguise.The only regret I have is not having the strength to care for me mum.
I have been home for 2 days now and have only been able to talk to her on the phone.I am taking my doctors orders to rest.A hospital stay for me is not an option.So the phone is our connection for today.I will have to get used to that .I will not be able to just drive over for lunch or meet her and go shopping.Our visits will have to be well planned for everyone.My brother is a great person and she will be with him and his family.My nephew is happy that his "abuelita" -that's grand mom in Spanish will be with him.My prayer today is for my mom,and for me to be easier on myself .Self forgiveness is so much harder than forgiving others.
Peace be with all of you my phabulous phfriends !